Thursday, November 18, 2010

Mulling and Plodding

Jules and I think about things completely differently. Often times we will have the same intention and wind up at the same place, but the getting there is quite different. This is probably why we work so well, but we drive each other crazy sometimes too.

I am a muller. My brain will be off thinking about things completely by itself and not let me in on what it is thinking. My job is to go along for the ride, busying myself about my day and work with complete faith that my brain will let me know when it has worked things out. This drives Jules crazy. He is concerned and wants to know when something is bothering me. Shouldn't we talk about it? What is it? How can he help? I honestly don't have the answers as most of the time I don't know myself.

When I was still dragging myself through school I would have a term paper due at the end of the quarter. I wouldn't be actively working on it. I'd have a title, I'd be doing research, but no drafts or outlines would be written. I'd just be thinking about it. As an English teacher, he would be incredibly nervous. There should have been a draft by now. Why had he not seen a draft to correct and rework and edit to pieces?! About a week before the paper was due I would sit down and write it in entirety, even if it was around 20 pages. I'd been mulling, everything was all stacked up well in my head, I had faith it would be fine. There would always need to be small edits here and there, a few reworked sentences, but no major ripping and tearing apart. My life is much this way. When something is bothering me, I go get a book from the bookstore, I sit and knit, I just let my brain be and it will soon lay it all out.

Jules is a plodder. He makes elaborate lists of all the details. Nothing can be discussed, hope about, dreamed on, or even considered until the list of steps is worked through methodically. He actively does research to find out if he has missed any steps. If a step has been missed everything is on hold till it can be evaluated. It drives me insane. My patience with this is not very good. I want to say "gimme the freakin' list and I'll just do it!" but I wouldn't do it correctly or patiently. I would miss things or race though steps. Jules misses nothing. He meticulously figures out every problem. He plays the game and talks to everyone in his slow and Southern way. Complete patience. As he says, "I get sh*t done."

As such, the division of labor in our house is decided upon by who has the better route to handle things. I get to handle the long term life decisions and directions. These are things which do not have very specific steps and require an amount of flexible faith. Jules takes care of those big and important, nitty gritty, decisions that I tend to take way too lightly and must "get done," as he says.

It is with Jules' all important steps and list in mind that I cannot write about the big, fun, awesome news I have been mulling over for the past few months. After a Saturday meeting, I can hopefully blurt it all out in one big, exciting blog post. Here's hoping that no other steps arise.

3 thoughts:

babbaapril said...

Oh, you tease!!!:)

Renee @ FIMBY said...

Can't wait for the news (Smile). Damien is muller but also a researcher and very analytical in his decision making. He's also cyclical which drives my linear brain nuts. He likes to go round and round to reach a decision and I'll be exasperated because didn't we already decide this and move on??. I am a detailed planner and list maker. Better with implementing the nitty gritty (getting sh*t done) than thinking about the big picture.

I'll be back on Saturday!

Mel said...

Can't wait to hear the news!

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