My uncle is a farmer. He was raised a farmer and has continued to be such his entire life. After duel knee replacements, a few bouts with strange diseases, and more than a couple decades of years under his belt, he is no longer able to climb the ladders and pull in all the vegetables which he once used to do. This hasn't stopped him from farming however. Now, my father and I help pick up the harvesting slack. From blackberries, to 3 types of pears, 2 types of apples, huge sweet onions, carrots, and giant pumpkins big enough for The Barracuda to fit inside (literally), he is constantly providing us with harvests.










The petunias he grew from seed and are now larger than Jules. Most of his dahlias are larger than my head.

The issue soon becomes, what on earth do we do with all this produce? Over the summers Jules is around to help out with all the canning. We can go through a serious amount of harvest between the two of us along with the helpful hands of The Barracuda here and there. However, school is in full swing and Jules is undergoing National Board Certification this year. His hands are very busy.

I'm not complaining. Free food is free food and this is organic, farm grown, good food which cans up fabulously. But it has gotten me thinking about our own orchard and garden in a couple years when we have ample land. Planting a multi-season harvest sounds like an incredibly brilliant idea. Why not have apples that ripen two months apart so you get two different batches and multiple months worth of fresh fruit? Pears which are early fall ripeners and then more which are late ripeners provide more fruit and many chances for enjoyment. Oh this just sounds so ingenious.

However, it also means much more time spent processing pears, while I'm also trying to process tomatoes, and apples, and jam and finish quilts before the cold, homeschool an energetic kid, keep Jules' favorite work clothes clean, and knit up another years worth of kitchen clothes. Inevitably the fruit flies will start and the canning will never be done in time.

Half of the harvest last time

This isn't to say we don't grow things over the fall and winter. We are lucky enough to live in a place which is mild enough for much to grow all year long. However, these are not canned items. Spinach, garlic, collards, beets, and cabbage do not need to be canned up and can be eatten on demand. The Beatles and the Bible got it right: "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven....a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted...." I am not a multi-season gardener when it comes to canning. Let's be real, Self...it aint gonna happen.

Luckily, I have now learned this about myself and can safely say that when our orchard is planted it will possibly be of multiple varieties, but they will all be one season. One crazy, action packed, very sticky canning season is about all I can muster.

What we have done with a lot of the harvest is make apple rings and pectin. Lots and lots and lots of apple rings. We are going on 5 quarts of apple rings and I'm already beginning to have to ration as I notice significant dwindling.

Apple rings are taken when we backpack and are chosen over cookies by The Barracuda when we are home. Jules is also quite good at nibbling over half a jar in one sitting if I let him. I thought I would be sneaky and purchase some from the store, but they both hated them. So, its back to the dehydrator for me.

To make apple rings you must first peel the apples. A crank style peeler is worth every cent of the 20 dollars they cost. They work for pears, potatoes, and just about any other firm fruit with thin skin. You can also buy slicing attachments of different sizes to produce different thicknesses. This will core, slice, and generally make the entire apple ready to be processed. Not only do they make the task fast, but they make it fun for little hands that cannot wield a knife or peeler well enough to not get hurt after four or five apples. The Barracuda peels most all our fruit at this point because he finds the crank so much fun.

Lay the rings out on trays and dehydrate for at least 4 hours at 135 degrees. We like ours thin and rather crisp so 6 hours is about right. Use some trial and error to find the correct time for your family. But, be sure you place them high on the shelves or you will soon run out!

Jam is something we haven't spent much time creating in our household. I'm not too fond of the idea of adding mysterious white powders to our food. I realize pectin has been used for a long, long time, but it still creeps me out. Whenever I would look it up, I would just get some generic explanation about it gelling things and being a natural bi-product of fruit. There was rarely any info on how exactly they went from the fruit to the white granules.

Well, I am now here to tell you that you needn't use the weird white granules. All you need are some apples! I still don't know how they go from fruit to powder, but I do know how you can make your own pectin all by yourselves. This has now landed our house with a nice helping of blackberry jam and very excited boys.

Pectin is a product of fruit and 100 percent natural (at least when you make it yourself). All fruits contain pectin in some degree or another and common fruits which are made into preserves often have larger quantities. The level of pectin of each particular fruit also varies from year to year depending on weather and other mysterious factors. It is generally agreed upon, however, that apples have the highest quantities and that the pectin is normally not in the highest quantities in the actual meat of the fruit. Pectin contents are often higher in the skins, seeds, cores and such. (I still don't know how they even know that!) It is also higher in fruit which is slightly under-ripe since apparently some of the pectin is lost when the sugars are converted in the ripe fruit.

To make your own pectin you basically make apple stock. Just like someone would make chicken stock, but only with apples. In our household, we make it from all the bits which won't work to make apple rings or applesauce. All the peels, cores, deformed apples, slightly murshy ones, and other odds and ends which don't dehydrate well become pectin. Making pectin also makes your house smell really, really good.

Take your undesirable apples and cut them into quarters - stem, peel, cores, and all. Generally somewhere around 7 small apples is good. More is always better. Throw them into a large stock pot with all the other inedible apple parts. Fill with enough water to cover and simmer all day. I really mean all day. Keep adding water as needed to keep them from burning, but you are going for a look like runny applesauce. It can be helpful to smash up the softer parts with the spoon as you stew them all.

When you have runny applesauce stuff, you now need to strain out all the inedible bits. All you really want is the liquid. Line a strainer with an old T-shirt and dump in apple glop in parts into the shirt. Lift all the corners of the shirt up and squeeze the liquid out into a bowl. The apple goo can be composted (the T-shirt we just throw away because I can never get it clean again). Once it is all strained, return the liquid to the stock pot. Turn the heat up to high and boil the snot out of it. Be sure to stir constantly. The liquid will get really, really thick and can easily burn. This is your pectin. When the pectin is the consistency of syrup, it is done. Add about 1 cup of pectin for every quart of berries to achieve jam the consistency of store bought. Always do a gel test to make sure your jam will "jam" and add more as necessary.

As an added benefit, once the liquid is strained (but not boiled) it can be frozen for later use. You only need to boil the liquid down for about 7 to 10 minutes, so freezing gives you quick pectin.

If you child isn't understanding the standard definition of subtraction (going backwards or taking away), don't fret. There is nothing wrong with you as teacher, and there is nothing wrong with your child as a learner. Most likely, they just think about numbers differently. This is a good thing. All great mathematicians have thought about numbers differently - that is why they were great.

How your child thinks is sometimes very apparent. In other kids it takes some trial and error. Don't give up and don't try to force something that isn't working. It is just as important to look at what works as what doesn't. Does your child like sports, wiggling constantly, dancing, or movement; explain with manipulatives you have to move around or have them step backward and forward as if they are personally moving in space. Is your child good at English, words, definitions, vocabulary, stories; explain it by relating it to words and the nuance of meaning. Is your child good with pictures, drawing, artistic expression, and the relationship of concepts through art; explain it visually with manipulatives which show the concept. Is your child a big picture thinker, needs to know how it all works, likes to tinker, wants to see how thing relate to one another on a larger scale; explain it by relating the numbers to one another in the space on a number line.

Explaining things for my son's different learning styles was definitely a growth space for me as a parent. It has done wonders for my understanding of the subject and also really helped me develop many areas of my brain which I never used.

Explanations of Subtraction
Standard definition: Subtraction is counting down or going backward on the numberline. You subtract three, you go backwards 3, you count down 3. This is the one most people always think of about subtraction; it is when you lose something or give it away. 8-3 =5 looks like this:
English definition: Subtraction is like saying "or." You are separating a group into its pieces. Instead of wanting this and that (addition), you want this or that. You are separating the group up and isolating part of it. You start with an amount, then separate part away, keeping one part for yourself. You want either one part or the other. In a story problem you should use subtraction if they only want to know about part of the group. 8-3 = 5
Movement definition: This is done the same as with the English, just have them physically separate three items from the group. Some kids need to actually move the three manipulatives. 8-3 = 5


Big Picture Thinkers definition: Subtraction is the difference in between two numbers. It is describing how many things are in between. Eight minus three is the same thing as saying how many numbers are there if you start at eight and go till three. In a story problem, you use subtraction when people want to know how much more or less of something - when they want to know the space in between two items. 8-3 = 5

Visual definition: Subtraction is a way of doing reciprocal algebra (doesn't that sound fancy! Most every adult I know does this regularly; it isn't as fancy as it sounds). 8 minus 3 is the same as saying "what do you have to add to three to get eight?" Later on, everyone does this in algebra with 3+x=8

If you think about subtraction in terms of adding you are basically saying: You had two groups of numbers and added them together (this would be the top number in a subtraction problem), now you are taking one of them away (the bottom number), how many are left (the answer)? In example, eight minus three is like saying, "You added three and five to make eight. Now you are taking the three away, how many are left?"

Since subtraction is splitting a group up into parts, another way to say it is: if eight is the answer and one of the pieces is three, what is the other piece? If a child has a strong foundation of addition, this causes a very logical jump to how subtraction is the opposite (reciprocal) of addition. It also helps later when working with algebra because the concept is basically 3+x=8.

Manipulatives really helped when trying to explain to the Barracuda what I was talking about when we used the algebra method. I took two manipulatives, declared one 3 and one 5. I pointed to one, he said,"Three." I pointed to the other one, he said, "Five." We did this like four times. By putting the manipulatives together, he could see they made 8. We did this like four times. He would say, "eight." He thought I was crazy, we had covered this already and it had nothing to do with subtraction as far as he was concerned.

Next, we started with both manipulatives together. How many? "8," came from him. I pointed to one and asked him how many. "3," he would say. I pointed to the next one, "5," he would declare. I then took the 3 manipulative away. The answer was plainly 5. We had to do this demonstration a good six or so times with different numbers on different days. The concept seemed so simple to me, but requires quite a bit of knowledge chaining. It is a jump in concepts and you have to link them together, but it helps quite a bit later on.

I told him each time we did the demonstration that it was okay if he didn't understand. For the first three times it was obvious he had no clue what I was trying to say. By fourth and fifth time, the glimmer was there, he knew the answer but how he got it. He couldn't apply it at all. The sixth time, you could tell it all made sense in one big "A ha!" moment. He was obnoxiously proud of himself! Now he talks himself through subtraction problems by saying, "How many do I have to add to 3 to get to 8?"

Hopefully this is helpful to all those frustrated parents out there. Far too many times, kids learn to bluff their way through in school because they don't want to say they don't understand or they become frustrated with themselves. Unfortunately, by the time I would get most of these children in high school they had already made up their minds that they "just weren't good at math." I have yet to meet even one with which that was the case.

Pumpkin are pretty darn great and highly underrated. I'm very pleased to have a family which regards them quite fondly when placed into pie, muffins and the occasional soup.

Shortly after he turned 4, The Barracuda and I were invited to a pumpkin carving party. We don't really carve them in our household, but I figured The Barracuda might like it. Just because Jules and I aren't into holidays doesn't mean he can't be.

He looked at me in completely confusion as we got out of the car in front of the party house. "Why are we doing this?" he asked.

"Because it is fun," I lied, "and they said there would be pizza."

His face became aghast. "Mom! Pumpkins are for eating, not fun!" This was quickly followed by, "Can I still have some pizza?"

Pizza can save everything.

And so it was settled. In our family, we eat pumpkins; we don't carve them. Now we grow Amish Pie pumpkins. We get very excited at counting just how many are growing rather than carving.

I must admit however, pumpkins are the drunken college roommate of the garden party. They are obnoxious, never stay where they are put, and tend to cling on to every other guest they come into contact with regardless of whether they are wanted. But you just have to love them even when you swear you won't ever invite them back. You always replant pumpkins.

Though pumpkins will keep just about the entire year in our root cellar, we don't eat them. It is as if the idea of cooking an entire pumpkin, removing the skin and then using the meat is just too time consuming or something. We now can our pumpkins so they are just a popped-top away from eating. It works much better.

To can pumpkins, the meat must first be cooked and removed. Cut the pumpkin in half and scoop out all the seeds. We don't roast the seeds, but we always set some aside to save for next year. In order for the seed to come true, heirlooms (or open pollinated plants) must be planted from different geneses. Here's a great list.


Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Adjust the racks so there is only one middle rack. Put the seeded pumpkin halves face down on an ungreased cookie sheet and put them into the oven. Only bake one set at a time or they cook unevenly and get burned.


Bake them until their skins begin to get loose and slightly bubble up. Poke them with an oven-mitted finger and you should be able to feel the loose skin. Generally, when you begin to smell them cooking, they are done.

Let the pumpkins cool before you decide to remove their skin. Not only are they really hot and ooze scalding pumpkin juice onto your fingers, but they are also all murshy when they are hot and don't peel well. Once cooled, the skin should peel back easily.













Break the pumpkin meat into pieces about 1 to 2 inches in size and drop them into the jar. You cannot puree pumpkin for canning because the viscosity cannot be controlled. Apparently, the USDA has decided this can kill you. Fill the jar with water leaving 2 inches to the top. Process at 11 pounds of pressure for 65 minutes (pints) and 75 minutes (quarts). By the time it cooks down, it is rather puree like anyway.

We are swimming in tomatoes (and fruit flies) around these parts. I was originally very worried about our tomato harvest since June was the rainiest on record and then September started raining early as well. Apparently the Karma Gods realized we had been very diligent with our hope and smiled upon us. The last 2 weeks in September were gorgeous, filled with lots of sun and a few 80 degree days. Total craziness for our area.

What it has meant is quite a nice selection of red tomatoes all at once. After a few days of clouds, you hit 80 and 15 tomatoes ripen all at once. After 3 days of sun, even though The Barracuda tries he cannot eat that many tomatoes.

The only creatures that were more excited than The Barracuda, were the fruit flies. We considered drying the tomatoes, but opted for stewed tomatoes and tomato paste instead. Though a few dried ones will be nice for backpacking, stewed tomatoes will be used far more often and could take care of many tomatoes all at once.


The Brandywine tomatoes we have grown in the past are really great producers of large, meaty fruits. This year there were 6 Brandywines, 3 Arkansas Travelers, and 3 Mortgage Litter. We were pleased with all of them, though the Mortgage Litters didn't do as well this year as they have in the past. They seem to like more early sun exposure and just couldn't seem to catch up this year.

Before tomatoes can be processed in the pressure canner, they need to be peeled. If you can them without peeling, they tend to all split up and you get weird deformed tomatoes and floating skins. It isn't exactly the kind of thing you want to dump into some rice or soup. Luckily, peeling tomatoes is quick and often kinda fun. (However, you should take into a count that I might just be a sadist. This might be toilsome as all get out and our family is just weird.)

Cut a sizable X in the bottom of the tomato.











Next it is into the boiling water bath for about 1 minute. This water needs to be boiling, not just hot. I tried hot and was sorely disappointed. There were soggy tomatoes all over the counter until the water was reheated up to boiling. When the skins begin to blister and split, use a ladle to retrieve the tomatoes and place them in the ice bath. Do not try to handle them as they are crazy hot. The only reason for the ice bath is to cool them down to the point you can handle them, so the water doesn't need to stay icy cold.

Only do about 8 tomatoes at once or they will get too hot and begin to fall apart before you can peel them. Secondly, only fill the containers up about half way since the tomatoes will bring the water level up once they are thrown in.

They peel really easily at this point so be delicate with them. When you want to put them in the jars, it is time to manhandle them. The smaller ones tend to plop themselves right in, but some of our Brandywines were quite large. These were ripped apart and cored as we went. Smush them into the jars. There is no need to worry about adding any liquid as they tend to juice themselves when pushed down in the jars and cooked.


Process both quarts or pints for 10 minutes at 11 pounds of pressure.

The color of these tomatoes is ridiculously vibrant. They are like technicolor tomatoes. They make me wonder just how on long in advance the stewed tomatoes in the stores were picked before they were processed.

When we didn't have enough to make a full canning load, the tomatoes were peeled and then cooked down to paste. The paste was then frozen. Due to viscosity and differing acid levels, it is better to freeze tomato paste than can it. Luckily, you don't need nearly as much paste from homegrown tomatoes as you do from the store purchased kind.

So, what do we do without a television? We volunteer at the Food Bank. Sometimes friends come, sometimes not, but we are there every Thursday regardless.


Service learning is a big part of our homeschool curriculum. Not only does it show the Barracuda he can make a difference regardless of his age, but it also reminds him to be grateful for the little we do have. The Food Bank just down the way distributes food to the entire state of Oregon as well as the outskirts of some boundary states. A couple hours a week isn't a lot, but with the state of our economy and those less fortunate, anything we can do is something.

Canning season is upon us and completely stolen my ability to post this last stop on our roadtrip. Now that the fruit flies have let up, we can properly finish.

Our last stop had us travel all the way through Kansas. I lost my mind in Kansas and I still can't really tell you why other than it was a very long day. There are quite a few National Parks and Historical Sites in Kansas as the California, Sante Fe, and Oregon Trails all went through the state and the routes for the mail all stopped in Kansas before splitting different directions. They are pretty cool and many ruts still exist in the soils from how worn they became. However, there is only one National Forest and it is actually a grassland. It is also in the far southeastern corner and no where near where we needed to go. So it was a hotel for Kansas and just a whole lotta drivin'. After pounding out Kansas, the Rocky Mountains were our destination.

Just outside the park, we got to take a short stop to go into the Estes Park Mountain Shop. For years, Jules was a buyer for Mountain Crossings on the Appalachian Trail and has the strong desire to visit other famous outfitters. Estes Park is one of those. The expertise at Estes Park makes REI look a little silly. Though he chose not to take over the store, talking shop with other guys in the business still makes him happy. I smile, answer the Barracuda's questions about gear, and try to figure out the pattern of various Silcoat stuff sacks. When all is said and done, they refill our WhipserLite fuel and we are off.


It is hard to write about the Rockies because words like amazing, incredible, majestic are so overused. But it's the Rockies! Just driving in you are struck with their magnitude. At home, everywhere we drive is framed by 2 mountains (one 11, 250 ft, the other 9,670 ft.) and everywhere you hike is framed by at least three others (10,500 ft; 10, 800 ft.; 12,300 ft.). They are huge and beautiful and majestic and all those other words. When I hiked in Appalachia, I kept waiting for "the mountain," because I have grown up living in the Cascade range. We are used to mountains that are destination places for travelers. But not mountains like this! This is some of the best rock climbing around because of the immense granite peaks which are so strong and yet create incredible spires.


Originally, we were only going to spend a day in the Rockies, but once we got to the park and witnessed it that was all out the window. We wound up spending the night. You can't camp wherever you want in this park anymore due to global warming. In fact, the foot traffic is having such an impact that there are signs literally explaining how to walk off the trail for the most minimal impact on the "endangered dirt." Keep on the Trail signs aren't enough here because the permafrost is beginning to melt and there is nothing to hold the top soil in for the plants. As such, campgrounds are all you get. Luckily the camp ground on the farthest side of the park still had vacancies. Whew!

To get to the campground, there were two routes. One was the standard tourist drive which travels at less than 5 miles per hour for a 25 mile trip and is crowded with RV's and people from Florida marveling at the snow. The second option, was the forest service road which cut about 18 miles from the trip but wasn't paved and a bit, shall we say, exciting. Can you guess which road Jules chose?

The Old Fall River Road is a one way road which closed in the winter and, though it had its moments, our 20o3 Mazda Protege made it just fine. Take this road. It rivaled Zion Canyon in the breathtaking raw views of the park. There are very few other cars, no guard rails, and you aren't just looking out at the mountain scenery, you are submerged in it.

You can see the clouds we were standing in as we looked down at the glacial ice melting causing small rivulets to flow into the valley below.

Most of the park is far above treeline, but you are forced to drive through the clouds (not fog, but actual clouds) and cut above the cloudline to look down through the mountains.

Throughout the park, the water cycle is in full view.
I managed a few pictures, but was boundlessly excited from all of my environmental studies classes. "Look at that incredible glacial cirque!"or "Oh my goodness, that is the moraine from the receding ice this last summer!" or "Did you hear that? It was a pika!" There were landforms to identify, and wildlife I'd only seen pictures of, and landscapes out of National Geographics, and almost no people, and abundant hiking, and and and..... I was as obnoxious as an 8 year old on their birthday. But Dude! I could seriously spend at least 3 weeks being this excited before even coming to terms with the fact I was able to spend time in the Rockies. If I ever have a honeymoon, I'm spending it in the Rocky Mountains.

Fortunately, The Barracuda got to fulfill his desire to see some constellations. This was one of his major goals for the trip. He laid huddled in his sleeping bag on top of the picnic table looking up and finding multiple constellations we would never be able to see at home. I tried desperately to name them while bumbling through a star map. Unfortunately, the viewing happened in the Rocky Mountains at one of the highest points in our continental United States and North America. It is going to be a bit of a let down for us to now hang out in the backyard.


We didn't really need the tent. He would have slept right there.
The next morning was off to hike. I personally believe that all you reading out there should quit your jobs right now and go hike in the Rockies. However, that might not work for many of you with this whole recession thing going on. In the least, you should make it there in your lifetime and definitely get out of your car and hike a bit.

This isn't a doctored picture, the sky is really that screaming blue.

We decided to hike up Mt. Ida (5.5 miles one way, 2,112 elevation gain) because it would make a good day hike and we could still leave before noon. Doesn't that sound so very practical? In reality it wasn't as practical as much as just "ooh oh what about this one?!" The Barracuda was highly impressed with all the rocks and put up with me pointing out the water cycle everywhere we went. He also got to see quite a bit of alpine wildlife that were completely unimpressed with humans. Deer, elk, marmots, pika, none even gave us a blink as they sunned themselves or went about eating away.

Outcroppings of rock are thrown about the sides of the trail from eons of glacial debris. This one was the size of our house.

The major benefit of this road trip (other than exposing The Barracuda) was to see each other in spiritual moments. Jules and I are not having another child (willingly), we are not taking large emotional plunges with our relationship like many who decide to marry early, and we do not participate in religion actively to have great awakenings of God. However, moments of such large emotional response are what really test the closeness of people and allow others to see some inherent characteristics of personality. They are the milestones.

Regardless of the creator you wish to worship, places like Zion, Sequoia, Gila, or the Rockies are undeniably hallowed ground. Together, experiencing these places for the first time creates those spiritual moments whom many only connect with in times of birth, death, or ceremony.



The journey to Georgia forces our family to confront Death (Jules' mother has Alzheimers), but can hopefully be a place where we can come to terms with other aspects of ourselves along the way.

On the way out of Georgia, it was important for The Barracuda to see Arkansas. I have no idea why, but the entire trip over to Georgia was heavily peppered with the location of Arkansas. He has been learning the States and apparently taken quite a fondness to this one. So we figured why not.

Now I must confess and apologize to Arkansas. I had never been to Arkansas before, but I was a bit presumptuous. Even more I was a bit negatively stereotypical. I thought Arkansas and I heard banjo music. I envisioned people who were missing teeth, and married their cousins, and said "Durrr" a lot. Think Deliverance. It was bad of me. I'm sorry Arkansas. You totally didn't deserve it.

Arkansas was beautiful!

We camped in the Ozarks at one of the best campsites for the entire trip. I dare say it was probably the most amazing location we had. There was a river less than 5 minutes from camp. It included a nature - made water slide of smooth rocks and enough sun to make the water feel superb.

We had a nice flat area to do the sun salutation in the morning and view the stars at night. The air was warm, but not overly balmy and the bugs were minimal.

There were butterflies frolicking in the flowers in drunken ecstasy. It was rather perfect and much like a Hallmark movie.

This was definitely not the Arkansas that I had in mind. We didn't hear any banjo music and weren't feasting on opossum. I am humbled by your beauty, Arkansas, and look forward to returning.

The entire point of road tripping was to get to Georgia and visit family. So visit we did.

The Barracuda got to spend time with his cousins.



Jules got to stay up all night giggling with old friends. (After multiple beers in the early morning hours he begins to giggle like a middle school girl.)


And the beauty of Appalachia was hiked.
Jack's River in the Cohutta or Big Frog Wilderness

I did not realize it, but New Orleans is actually a National Park. Jean Lafitte National Park covers six separate areas around southern Louisiana and one of those is New Orleans. Though not your standard National Park, the historical significance of the area is quite interesting. Apparently Jean Lafitte realized the cultural significance of the Port of New Orleans back when it was a major trade post. He encouraged a city which fostered acceptance of all walks of life, immersion and blending of cultures to create a fusion of new and interesting perspectives, and the idea that there should be a place where anyone can feel at home. No wonder this is one of Jules' favorite places on the planet!


However, New Orleans is a bit restrictive when you are traveling with a small person. Though we walked Bourbon Street our son was thankfully clueless of much of what he was seeing. The Barracuda was given some beads by "a nice lady wearing funny pants" (thong underwear and thigh high go-go boots), and that comment basically sums up how much flew completely over his head.

What he didn't fly completly over his head were the Beignets. Beignets are fried fritters covered in a thick layer of powdered sugar and brought to New Orleans by the French. Cafe du Monde sells these delectable treats from a walk up window which is open all night long. There is a very specific way to eat these treats which The Barracuda will now walk you through.

How to Eat A Beignet by The Barracuda


So you want to know how to eat a Beignet, huh? Alright, I'll show ya.



But listen up, 'cause they's tasty!




First you shake them up really, really well. Get that powdered sugar all over 'em. It's okay if it gets on you, too. Oooh! They are getting so good with all that sugar!


But don't you be thinkin' about touchin' my beignets! I saw that look! You go get your own! Touchin' a man's beignets is liable to get you hurt. Those are fightin' words. My mom doesn't even let me have sugared cereal and you were thinking about taking away my beignets?! Crazy!



'Cause they's tasty!

Oh dear Lord, Texas is big. Normal people can look at a map and realize that Texas is big, but we decided (in complete insanity) to drive across it. Uh. There are a lot of cows in Texas, a lot of religious radio stations, and a lot of cheap gasoline. There are also a lot of people who reminded us that we definitely aren't from around here.

Texas was the first of only three nights were were spent in hotels. Jules and I needed to do laundry, take a real shower (which we still hadn't done other than the rain storm) and enjoy sleeping together rather than just next to one another in a tent.

The Barracuda didn't exactly know what we meant by a hotel. This was a completely new concept and experience. He had seen the signs, but apparently never thought anything of them. Being the now-expert-parents (Thank You, Lassen) we checked first to see if there was a pool and exactly what the hours were.


The Barracuda knows a lot about pools. Grampie is a Masters level swim coach and holds a couple of world records for his age class in various strokes. The Barracuda has been receiving swim lessons from Grampie since he was just over a year old.

More importantly, treading water is a skill you learn here far faster than learning to swim. It has saved The Barracuda from drowning once already, and probably will a couple more times in the future. Water kills you here. Around us, the only place you can swim without a wetsuit is in a pool. It is just plain too cold (even in the summer) and the currents are far too bizarre for open water unless there is some serious professional training. Every year Jules looses students to water. You don't fear water growing up here, but you sure do respect it.

However, sleeping in a place where there is a heated outdoor pool was a concept which delighted our son. This meant he could literally play in the water all day, all evening, and virtually all night. Hotels became asked about frequently.


About this time, it had become very apparent who our child's favorite parent was. Though when he falls down extremely hard, is embarrassed, or has a nightmare it is all about Mom, this trip was all about Dad. Once again we have crossed into Boy Territory and Dad is all that will do. Mom does not know much about skipping rocks, or pocket knives, or BB guns. Mom does not have the experience to adequately explain exactly how to use the mysterious fly on jockey shorts or how to adjust ones self mid-conversation without calling too much attention. Mom does however know how to correct her son when he is being completely socially inappropriate and can direct him to his father.

But Dad! Dad knows about comic books, he knows about fitting backpacks, and how to make the best cannonball splashes to get Mom all wet. Dad knows about spitting, about which candy and cereal have the highest sugar content and how to sneak them so Mom doesn't know, and also still enjoys (and tells) jokes which involve words like butt, poop, and fart. Dad is also strong enough to launch The Barracuda several feet in the air across the pool. Dad has become incredibly cool.


So Dad and the boy played in the pool and told fart jokes. They had amazing competitions involving breath holding, twirling tricks, and synchronized splashing. I worked feverishly to send out articles via the hotels fabulous open WiFi connection and charged the computer with much coveted electricity. I also worked very hard at dodging the large waves of splash which came perilously close to the open laptop and myself.

Between Reno and pools, these National Parks were getting a run for their money!